Every day, I get calls from athletes who feel that they are lacking in self-confidence. I am currently working with a skier, a swimmer, a bowler, a tennis player, a pitcher, a second baseman, a golf pro and two soccer players. All of these people are trying to believe in themselves a bit more and trying to elevate their self-confidence.Yesterday,I got a call from a baseball player who is playing triple a ball for a major league team. He is worried because he has been in a hitting slump. In addition, he is fearful that his lack of confidence will prevent him from making it into the major leagues. Obviously, he is under some significant pressure and to make matters worse, he is doubting himself.
It is important to understand that players, parents, coaches and therapists spend a lot of time building youngsters' confidence.I have dozens of them.Bedtime is a great time of the day to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you get ready to go to sleep, you can use this quiet time to build yourself up instead of dwelling on all that went wrong earlier in the day or worrying about what could go wrong tomorrow.
Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.
As you get ready to go to sleep spend a minute revisiting each of these experiences and accomplishments. When you are done, just let yourself relax, have a good night of sleep and maybe dream about some of your goals your positive accomplishments.Do this for three weeks. Stacking your positive memories like this on a daily basis can help you to build your confidence.
And, the next time you go out on the field or on the court, carry some of these thoughts with you and see if you start to feel more relaxed, confident and focused with this new frame of mind.Everyone knows that women are attracted to confidence. So, a great way to attract women is to increase your self-confidence.
When you're in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it's probably because he's the one who's had the guts to ask her out.One of my favourite sayings is - "Women go out with men who ask them". Now this doesn't mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you're not going to get a woman if you don't ask her out. And often you'll be surprised at the results.
An absolutely vital and worthwhile thing to do in this case is to increase your self-confidence.Often, the way we feel is a direct result of how we act. So the first thing you're going to do is...Pretend to be confident.If you know a woman you like, but haven't had the guts to ask her out, pretend you are confident as hell, walk up to her and ask her out. Just do it.Pretend to be confident often and before you know it, you won't be pretending any more. You'll get such positive results from merely acting confidently that it's almost as though you are hypnotizing yourself.You can program yourself. As an example, if you're in an average mood and you take a deep breath, punch the air in victory and state, 'I feel great!' you'll feel great. If you hang your head, move your face into a miserable look and say, 'man, I feel awful', your mood will follow suit.Ok, that's the really important one, your personal attitude.
Other things you can do to build your self-confidence are:Learn something new. Learn a new language. Chicks are impressed by French and Italian. They're not impressed by Ancient Greek. Some women are impressed by your vast knowledge of the opera, some by your skills at cooking. Not many will be impressed by your love for Starcraft 2.Hit the gym. How important is it to look good? For yourself, VERY important. For her, somewhat important.
Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
At university I had a fear of public speaking. My mentor asked me why and I mentioned it was because I was afraid that people would laugh at me. He asked me if I laughed at people when they were talking in public and I realised that I did not. I had thought for ages that strangers were possessed of the most negative traits and in fact most people are kind and interested, otherwise they wouldn't have been listening to me in the first place.Women are like that.
You might get the odd one who tells you to piss off, but mostly they'll be flattered if you approach them. Of course a lot of that is down to you, but I can count on one hand the aggressive and humiliating rejections I've had, and I've been rejected a LOT.Sit down by yourself for 10 minutes and list the reasons why you lack self-confidence. This will work only if you are honest with yourself.Then write a list of what you think you can do to overcome these issues.
It is important to understand that players, parents, coaches and therapists spend a lot of time building youngsters' confidence.I have dozens of them.Bedtime is a great time of the day to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you get ready to go to sleep, you can use this quiet time to build yourself up instead of dwelling on all that went wrong earlier in the day or worrying about what could go wrong tomorrow.
Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.
As you get ready to go to sleep spend a minute revisiting each of these experiences and accomplishments. When you are done, just let yourself relax, have a good night of sleep and maybe dream about some of your goals your positive accomplishments.Do this for three weeks. Stacking your positive memories like this on a daily basis can help you to build your confidence.
And, the next time you go out on the field or on the court, carry some of these thoughts with you and see if you start to feel more relaxed, confident and focused with this new frame of mind.Everyone knows that women are attracted to confidence. So, a great way to attract women is to increase your self-confidence.
When you're in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it's probably because he's the one who's had the guts to ask her out.One of my favourite sayings is - "Women go out with men who ask them". Now this doesn't mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you're not going to get a woman if you don't ask her out. And often you'll be surprised at the results.
An absolutely vital and worthwhile thing to do in this case is to increase your self-confidence.Often, the way we feel is a direct result of how we act. So the first thing you're going to do is...Pretend to be confident.If you know a woman you like, but haven't had the guts to ask her out, pretend you are confident as hell, walk up to her and ask her out. Just do it.Pretend to be confident often and before you know it, you won't be pretending any more. You'll get such positive results from merely acting confidently that it's almost as though you are hypnotizing yourself.You can program yourself. As an example, if you're in an average mood and you take a deep breath, punch the air in victory and state, 'I feel great!' you'll feel great. If you hang your head, move your face into a miserable look and say, 'man, I feel awful', your mood will follow suit.Ok, that's the really important one, your personal attitude.
Other things you can do to build your self-confidence are:Learn something new. Learn a new language. Chicks are impressed by French and Italian. They're not impressed by Ancient Greek. Some women are impressed by your vast knowledge of the opera, some by your skills at cooking. Not many will be impressed by your love for Starcraft 2.Hit the gym. How important is it to look good? For yourself, VERY important. For her, somewhat important.
Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
At university I had a fear of public speaking. My mentor asked me why and I mentioned it was because I was afraid that people would laugh at me. He asked me if I laughed at people when they were talking in public and I realised that I did not. I had thought for ages that strangers were possessed of the most negative traits and in fact most people are kind and interested, otherwise they wouldn't have been listening to me in the first place.Women are like that.
You might get the odd one who tells you to piss off, but mostly they'll be flattered if you approach them. Of course a lot of that is down to you, but I can count on one hand the aggressive and humiliating rejections I've had, and I've been rejected a LOT.Sit down by yourself for 10 minutes and list the reasons why you lack self-confidence. This will work only if you are honest with yourself.Then write a list of what you think you can do to overcome these issues.
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