We are all shy at some times and in some places. That's natural. But when shyness and social anxiety turn into our natural state then it's high time that we did something to turn our attitude around, otherwise we're missing out on life, which isn't the best plan for our limited time on the planet.Start off in easy situations.A party full of hundreds of people isn't necessarily the best place to try to shake off your shyness. Although, that said, since most people there won't know you, it could equally be argued that it is a good training ground. So if you've got enough courage, leap in and don't worry about the consequences - partly because unless you make a complete fool of yourself, it's unlikely there will be any consequences.
But most shy people find that idea daunting and prefer to start shaking off their shyness in smaller situations.Wherever you decide to start, the important thing is to actually start!Break the ice.With a helpful friend if need be. If everyone seems to be in groups or cliques, pick one with an odd number. Then there's a chance you can actually pair off with someone and overcome your shyness that way.Get a pet.A dog is especially good for this.You have to go out and walk your dog on a regular basis and most dog owners are more than happy to stop and chat on their daily walk.If you're really timid, just start with a nod to acknowledge the other person. But ideally get at least as far as saying "hello" or "good morning" or some other friendly but non-committal phrase. Maybe even the British fall-back conversation topic of the weather.
Learn how to use daily affirmations and positive mind influence. Again, this takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like "I like myself!" or "I am a winner!"This may sound silly but take time out alone to roleplay situations that you get really nervous about. Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be. This roleplaying will send messages to your sub-consciousness and help your inner-self change.
Smile more often.A nervous smile is better than no smile at all. But smiling is actually a great ice breaker and you may well find that's all you need to do to get other people to walk up to you and start talking. Then you have two options: run and hide or forget your shyness and carry on the conversation.The second choice is far and away the better one and will help you to overcome your shyness and social anxiety quicker than you ever dreamed possible.Research has shown that shyness is caused by three factors these are which when combined produces shyness. First is an excessive evaluation of self, secondly you view your self negatively and finally you are preoccupied with your self. When these three factors are combined, shyness occurs. This happens mainly during social events and around strange people.
So what is it that causes us to experience shyness? We have all experienced shyness at some point in life to a certain degree but the root cause really boils down to the following,Weak self image, overly occupied with self, and labelling. All of these negatives may have happened at some point during life situations and experiences that you have not come to closure with. These produce the negative emotion that is shyness. So how does one overcome shyness? One of the main ways of battling shyness is to increases awareness. This means you need to take into control your experience of shyness.Fist step in overcoming your shyness is to understand it.Every one has a unique type of shyness that is triggered by certain events, settings and situations. You need to find out what exactly is causing your trigger and what it is that you are concerned about.
Transforming self consciousness into Self Awareness,Tell yourself that the world is not watching you. The truth is, most people are too busy looking at themselves instead of focusing on you. As if you are looking at others, draw that awareness inwards. Find the understanding of what is it that makes you shy. Look inside yourself and observe the presence of your thoughts. Truly self-awareness is the first step in improving ones life.Find what makes you strong,We all have something that we are strong at such as different qualities and the way in which we express ourselves. Locate these strengths and accept them even when they are not viewed in a traditional sense. After all, if the entire world was the same every thing would be overly boring.
Love yourself,Self appreciation is one of the best ways of overcoming shyness. Learn to love the unique expression that is you. Take some time and pen a love letter to yourself. Take some time to go out and do the things that you really enjoy. Be thankful for your health; spend some time to get to know yourself.Be none conforming,Never try to be someone else. This is extremely exhausting and no fun at all. Know that it is alright to be different. The truth is, people who are popular experience the same emotions, insecurities, self consciousness and feelings of awkwardness.Place your focus on other individuals,Instead of focusing on what makes you awkward, listen to what other have to say during social gatherings. Spend the time and learn about others. Get to know and understand what they have to say though conversation.Reduce your anxiety through controlled breathing,Fear and anxiety have a way of overwhelming you. One way to controlling these negative emotions are though becoming more assertive. You can control your anxiety by channelling it into smaller pieces and assimilating it slowly. This is done through controlled breathing. Slowly inhale and exhale as you clear the triggering thoughts.
Reduce anxiety through movement,Physical movement is one of the best ways to release pent up energies. Walking and jogging will help to clear the mind of situations that create anxiety. This renewed mind state will allow you to see things better.Affirmation,Words are very powerful and used in the right context they can change reality. The unconscious mind takes cues what the conscious mind hears and drives the being according. Spend time reaffirming positive words and over time you will begin to experience a change on how you view life which will impact your shyness.
Choose one with a low score because that will be easier to overcome and will build your confidence when you come to tackle one of the scarier situations.Then make a determined attempt to overcome your shyness in that one, relatively inconsequential, situation.Keep at it - you may not succeed at the first attempt but keep going until that situation has dropped at least one point on the scale.Learn to laugh more,Laughter is an excellent defence mechanism.It diffuses lots of otherwise awkward situations.If you find it hard to laugh, at least raise a smile. This will change the way that other people react to you and you'll be pleasantly surprised when those situations where you were previously shy and reserved turn themselves around almost automatically, just because you've made the effort to laugh or smile.
Be accepting of rejection.Rejection is a natural part of life. You must learn how to cope with this rejection and learn how to never take it personally. Every one will be rejected at some point in time. It's just a part of the learning process of life. The key is to handle the rejection by never taking it personally, look for the lesson in the situation and move on.Do away with perfectionism,Most people who compare themselves to others tend to compare themselves with the most popular person in a social setting or with the celebrities on TV. This in turn causes them to place excessive expectations of themselves thus causing them to ask the question why can't I be like the other person. Do away with this perfectionism.Finally practice your social skills,Practise makes perfect, like any other skill you may have, you should practice your social skills. Spend time putting yourself out there meeting and greeting others. If you're not sure what to say, ask a fried to help you before hand for such social events.
But most shy people find that idea daunting and prefer to start shaking off their shyness in smaller situations.Wherever you decide to start, the important thing is to actually start!Break the ice.With a helpful friend if need be. If everyone seems to be in groups or cliques, pick one with an odd number. Then there's a chance you can actually pair off with someone and overcome your shyness that way.Get a pet.A dog is especially good for this.You have to go out and walk your dog on a regular basis and most dog owners are more than happy to stop and chat on their daily walk.If you're really timid, just start with a nod to acknowledge the other person. But ideally get at least as far as saying "hello" or "good morning" or some other friendly but non-committal phrase. Maybe even the British fall-back conversation topic of the weather.
Learn how to use daily affirmations and positive mind influence. Again, this takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like "I like myself!" or "I am a winner!"This may sound silly but take time out alone to roleplay situations that you get really nervous about. Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be. This roleplaying will send messages to your sub-consciousness and help your inner-self change.
Smile more often.A nervous smile is better than no smile at all. But smiling is actually a great ice breaker and you may well find that's all you need to do to get other people to walk up to you and start talking. Then you have two options: run and hide or forget your shyness and carry on the conversation.The second choice is far and away the better one and will help you to overcome your shyness and social anxiety quicker than you ever dreamed possible.Research has shown that shyness is caused by three factors these are which when combined produces shyness. First is an excessive evaluation of self, secondly you view your self negatively and finally you are preoccupied with your self. When these three factors are combined, shyness occurs. This happens mainly during social events and around strange people.
So what is it that causes us to experience shyness? We have all experienced shyness at some point in life to a certain degree but the root cause really boils down to the following,Weak self image, overly occupied with self, and labelling. All of these negatives may have happened at some point during life situations and experiences that you have not come to closure with. These produce the negative emotion that is shyness. So how does one overcome shyness? One of the main ways of battling shyness is to increases awareness. This means you need to take into control your experience of shyness.Fist step in overcoming your shyness is to understand it.Every one has a unique type of shyness that is triggered by certain events, settings and situations. You need to find out what exactly is causing your trigger and what it is that you are concerned about.
Transforming self consciousness into Self Awareness,Tell yourself that the world is not watching you. The truth is, most people are too busy looking at themselves instead of focusing on you. As if you are looking at others, draw that awareness inwards. Find the understanding of what is it that makes you shy. Look inside yourself and observe the presence of your thoughts. Truly self-awareness is the first step in improving ones life.Find what makes you strong,We all have something that we are strong at such as different qualities and the way in which we express ourselves. Locate these strengths and accept them even when they are not viewed in a traditional sense. After all, if the entire world was the same every thing would be overly boring.
Love yourself,Self appreciation is one of the best ways of overcoming shyness. Learn to love the unique expression that is you. Take some time and pen a love letter to yourself. Take some time to go out and do the things that you really enjoy. Be thankful for your health; spend some time to get to know yourself.Be none conforming,Never try to be someone else. This is extremely exhausting and no fun at all. Know that it is alright to be different. The truth is, people who are popular experience the same emotions, insecurities, self consciousness and feelings of awkwardness.Place your focus on other individuals,Instead of focusing on what makes you awkward, listen to what other have to say during social gatherings. Spend the time and learn about others. Get to know and understand what they have to say though conversation.Reduce your anxiety through controlled breathing,Fear and anxiety have a way of overwhelming you. One way to controlling these negative emotions are though becoming more assertive. You can control your anxiety by channelling it into smaller pieces and assimilating it slowly. This is done through controlled breathing. Slowly inhale and exhale as you clear the triggering thoughts.
Reduce anxiety through movement,Physical movement is one of the best ways to release pent up energies. Walking and jogging will help to clear the mind of situations that create anxiety. This renewed mind state will allow you to see things better.Affirmation,Words are very powerful and used in the right context they can change reality. The unconscious mind takes cues what the conscious mind hears and drives the being according. Spend time reaffirming positive words and over time you will begin to experience a change on how you view life which will impact your shyness.
Choose one with a low score because that will be easier to overcome and will build your confidence when you come to tackle one of the scarier situations.Then make a determined attempt to overcome your shyness in that one, relatively inconsequential, situation.Keep at it - you may not succeed at the first attempt but keep going until that situation has dropped at least one point on the scale.Learn to laugh more,Laughter is an excellent defence mechanism.It diffuses lots of otherwise awkward situations.If you find it hard to laugh, at least raise a smile. This will change the way that other people react to you and you'll be pleasantly surprised when those situations where you were previously shy and reserved turn themselves around almost automatically, just because you've made the effort to laugh or smile.
Be accepting of rejection.Rejection is a natural part of life. You must learn how to cope with this rejection and learn how to never take it personally. Every one will be rejected at some point in time. It's just a part of the learning process of life. The key is to handle the rejection by never taking it personally, look for the lesson in the situation and move on.Do away with perfectionism,Most people who compare themselves to others tend to compare themselves with the most popular person in a social setting or with the celebrities on TV. This in turn causes them to place excessive expectations of themselves thus causing them to ask the question why can't I be like the other person. Do away with this perfectionism.Finally practice your social skills,Practise makes perfect, like any other skill you may have, you should practice your social skills. Spend time putting yourself out there meeting and greeting others. If you're not sure what to say, ask a fried to help you before hand for such social events.
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