Teen Age Girl's Self-Esteem - What Causes Its Nosedive?

By Alva D. Miller


Adolescence can be a turbulent time for young ladies and building self esteem in teenage girls can seem like a daunting task. However, there are several things that one can do to help young women see themselves in a better light. Here are 10 helpful suggestions for building self esteem in teenage girls.Let them know that they do not have to compete with super models. If you watch television you would think that everyone is thin, pretty, and full of poise. In reality, the world is made of people with many imperfections. This is a good subject to discuss with your teen at any time.

Ask your teen questions instead of giving orders or suggestions. Your teen is going through some major changes. Some of these changes are physical and some are emotional. When you ask someone to do something you are showing respect for them as a person.Try to find ways to treat teens as adults. Teens are not mature adults, but they are no longer little children either. One of the biggest complaints that young ladies have is their parents treat them as children. Maybe you can extend their curfew a bit or add other privileges. If you are interested in building self esteem in teenage girls, let them know that they are becoming young women.Maybe your young lady has problems with acne or her weight. Personal appearance is extremely important at this age. Let her know that you are there to help in any way. Schedule a doctor appointment, as sometimes this can help. In any manner, your teen needs to know that she can call on you for anything at anytime.Set a good example. Kids learn so much from watching their parents. If you think your teen has a problem with self esteem, she may have learned it from you. Think about how you conduct yourself around others. If you think that you have a low opinion of the person in your mirror, then maybe you should work on that first before helping your teen.

Health risks are coupled with most girls' dip in their self-esteem because of dangerous eating habits, despair, as well as unwanted pregnancy.Girls who are 10 or 12 are occasionally confronted with various "teen" issues like dating or sex, at an alarmingly earlier age. Almost 73 percent of the 8 to 12-year old girls dress more like thriving teens and even talk much like teens.When or why do girls' self-esteem dip?When the pre-teen years start, girls experience a total shift in their focus; and their bodies turn into some sort of all consuming passion-machine, which is much like a meter of self-worth.Self-esteem turns very closely tied to many physical attributes that most girls feel they're unable to gauge in respect of their society standards.Between 5th or 9th grade, most gifted girls perceive that smarts are not really sexy, and keep hiding their accomplishments.

Yes you read that right.Women are often programmed to be the support person - whether it's to their partner, children or boss; or all the above.Drop the 'martyr' label, and put your happiness and needs first. Be body aware by feeding your body healthy food and taking care of it's needs. Choose to focus on the benefits of healthy eating rather than the pain and punishment associated with yo-yo dieting.Be emotionally aware by doing things that are fun and fulfilling for you. Don't agree to do something you're not 100% happy with, or cancel your plans to accommodate others. Compromise in a relationship is good, but not at the expense of your happiness and not if it's a familiar habit of giving in.And for goodness sake - spoil yourself sometimes! You deserve it.

Self-esteem and self-image make a huge difference in the level of success you can have not only in your business, but it will affect relationships and even health. There have actually been studies that show that low self-esteem lowers your health, as for one thing, it impacts your susceptibility to stress and ineffective self-care.If we try to go after love by taking care of everyone else but ourselves, we ultimately will not even be as effective in caring for those we love. We as women are also setting an example for our daughters. I have a 17 year-old daughter, and I have seen how the impact of media and peer pressure can cause wear and tear on the psych.

It has been my awareness of the importance of making it a point to develop self-esteem and keep a positive self-image that has spared my daughter all types of emotional drama that I see some of her peers going through. In fact my daughter is often mentoring her friends on getting through their challenges on self-esteem issues and on more than one occasion has told me how grateful she is for the information that I share with her.We live in a community that has recognized that there is a problem with competition, materialism, and perfectionism. All three of these issues are directly related to an issue with low self-esteem and trying to hide feelings of insecurity. Often trying to find security, love and self-esteem creates that type of messy experience in not only teen-aged girls, but also throughout the lives of grown women.

So, here are some ideas for parents who are looking for ways to raise their daughter's self-esteem and confidence,Firstly, encourage your daughter to have a well-defined identity. This means helping her define what she likes, what she values and what she believes in. Good questions to ask her are: "Tell me about that", "Why did you make that decision?" and "Why does it make you feel like that?"Spend lots of time giving her sincere and genuine feedback about her strengths and abilities. For example, "I think you are good at because...", and "I like the way you..."

My "Mental Me", the story of who I thought I was, worked overtime. It was a mean girl voice from my childhood still haunting me, one that came from my perception of the rejection I felt from home, standards of those around me, or from comparing myself to others and playing small.You see we store memories at the cellular level - this is scientific fact. It was really cruel, and ironically, the thing is, I was not particularly mean to other girls. You see at heart, I'm very sensitive about not overtly hurting others. Yes, I have clear boundaries and will say no when I want to, but bullying was never a weakness of mine.Yet, I "bullied" myself often with "not good enough, not worthy or not pretty enough" all the time. Well, thank goodness for my determined spirit and the realization that the true essence of me, is not the same as what I "think" about me. I learned that I was not my thought and now neuroscience supports that fact that we can stop negative self-talk as we learn how to recognize these stories for what they are - FEAR; Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality is my acronym for it.

It can be helpful to replay situations with her and ask: "What might have happened if you had made a different decision?" and "If a situation like this happens again, how are you going to handle it?" Thirdly, encourage your daughter to be generous to others. This could be by being trustworthy, or by offering her time, ideas or friendship. When girls learn to be generous they start to realise that they can influence others positively. It helps them become more mindful of others and increasingly self-confident as people thank them for their generosity and kindness.When teenage girls are supported to cultivate an internal appreciation for themselves and others, they begin to feel motivated and confident. That is why a positive and strong identity, good problem solving skills and an ability to be generous promote girls' sense of gratitude and purpose.




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