Talking To Your Partner About Marriage Counseling

By Marissa Velazquez

It is sad to notice that the divorce rate between couples is climbing at an alarming speed. Although each couple may have different reasons for separating, it is a fact that life is stressful due to high prices, low or non-existing incomes and the pressures of society in general. These factors do have a negative influence on marriages. In the past marriage counseling was viewed as a last and embarrassing resort, but now it has become an accepted process that can do wonders for a relationship.

If you are the one who needs to initiate the process of acquiring assistance, then you need to do it the right way so that your partner will be open to the idea as well. The idea should be suggested in an appropriate manner so that it is not misunderstood. Firstly, you will need to choose a good time to discuss the matter.

Sometime when you are alone is best, and when neither of you are overly stressed from work or other everyday problems. Do not attempt to discuss the possibility of outside assistance when you are in the middle of an argument. Your partner may then think that you are not serious about the idea, and are only trying to make threats. Try to explain that the purpose will be to solve problems between you, and to improve the quality of your relationship. Try not to make it seem like a punishment, or like your partner will be blamed in the process.

There can only be two outcomes when you speak to your spouse. Either he or she agrees to come with you, or he or she declines the offer. If your spouse refuses, then you can consider going on your own. You can learn some skills to improve your relationship, and when your partner takes note of this, then he or she may be more willing to participate.

It is wonderful if you can come to an agreement to start seeing a counselor. It will surely be a step in the right direction. To help the process along, you can do a few things before your first session, or during the time you are visiting the counselor. It is helpful to be clear upon the goals you would like to achieve, therefore, write down what you and your spouse hope to gain from the sessions.

While you are noting your goals, make a few additional points as well. These will be the things that you feel need work. The types of things that you feel are a problem within your relationship. They can be brought forth to the counselor.

Don't forget to focus on the good things about your marriage as well. Developing a positive attitude towards each other goes a long way when trying to improve a relationship. Write down the good things, and try to stay focused on them, rather than on the negative aspects.

Marriage counseling is recommended for those having difficulties, but can also be useful for newly weds. Communication problems are often handled, but also more serious issues such as the death of a child and substance abuse. Look for a counselor that you can trust, and one that has experience.

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